Ok, so you’ve found a perfect match on an arrangement dating site, and things are looking good, but now it is time to take a leap of faith and finally meet your crush. You are interested in LTR dating (Long Term Relationship dating), and you don’t want to mess up your odds with your crush on your first date. This is perfectly normal, but we’ll let you in on a little secret – the other side is feeling the same way too.

It doesn’t matter how many of them you’ve had thus far; first dates are almost always terrifying. But you are in luck, for we are about to make things a lot easier for you with this first-date hack:

Avoid all those stereotypical and boring “What?” questions and start asking “Why?” questions!

The trick is to not turn your first date into a boring personal data questionnaire, but to talk about what drives you, the things you love and the things they love, and – most importantly – WHY. Questions like: Where are you from? How many brothers and sisters do you have? Which school did you go to? are fine, but make sure you get through those quickly as these details don’t create any real connection or attraction.

What To Talk About On First Date

It’s not about the data – it’s about emotion.

When your date tells you what they do for a living, try asking them: “Why do you love your job? Why do you hate your job?” The why will tell you A LOT more about a person than the what.

Here are some useful surefire first-date questions that will help you move things along:

  • Why do you like your hobby?
  • The activity you’ve always wanted to try but have been too scared to do it?
  • The most random movie you’ve ever watched all the way through?
  • Who inspires you and why?
  • Have you read any good books recently?
  • The weirdest things you used to do as a teenager?
  • What is the weirdest scar you have and how did you get it?
  • If you could only eat one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be?
  • Are you a cat person or a dog person?
  • If you won the lottery tomorrow, what’s the first thing you’d buy?
  • Imagine I’m an alien. Describe the one thing that makes us human.  
  • What’s on your bucket list? Why?  

First-Date Bonus Tips

It’s ok to admit you’re nervous.
As we mentioned at the beginning of this article, your date is quite possibly just as nervous as you are, which is why admitting it will almost certainly break the awkward ice and you will come off as an open and honest person all LTR dating people are looking for.

Don’t tell EVERYTHING about yourself.
Being open, forthcoming and honest about your life and personality is always a positive thing, just make sure you don’t reveal every single detail about your life on your first date. You don’t want it to turn into a therapy session.

Leaving some room for mystery is the way to go!

Don’t lie. Never lie.
We’ve all done this. Adorning the truth with little white lies to make us look just a bit cooler than we really are. I remember once bragging about how I listen to jazz to a girl via an LTR dating website, even though I don’t really get that music genre. Don’t do this. Don’t start your relationship with a lie.

NEVER try to “one-up” your date.
If your date mentions taking a trip to Europe last summer, make sure you don’t follow up with your own, better story. Instead, be respectful and listen to their story carefully.

All in all, when it comes to LTR dating, a bad first date conversation doesn’t have to mean anything. Long-term relationships are all about the long run. After all, many a time runners who get off to a bad start do end up winning the race.

Writer and consultant for Sugardaddie.com