Most people will tell you that the only way to get over a bad breakup is time, and to some extent that may be true, however there are many other ways to make that passage of time less painful. Whether you believe this pain manifests itself in a physical or mental way, it will pass, but only if you help the process along.

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There will be friends and family that will tell you that this is only freeing you up for your next great relationship and that as the song says “some of god’s greatest gifts are unanswered prayers”, but to you this will sound like a load of crap, as your mind will be telling you that you have lost the greatest love of your life. This could be true, but usually it isn’t as break-ups happen for a reason and in reality the other person (or yourself) has done you a favor by ripping the band off and allowing the two of you to move on with your lives, separately.

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So, how do we speed up the process? The first thing that you should do is start focusing on yourself. The more time you spend creating a better you the less time you spend dwelling on something that is (whether you believe it or not) out of your control. If you are a bit out of shape, joining a gym or fitness class is a fantastic way to not only burn off that excess stress but get you in top shape as well.

Another benefit of this is that it will put you in close proximity to a lot of other like minded people and you never know when that next special someone will enter your life. When you are in a difficult relationship you tend to lose some of the people skills that enable you to meet new people, so this might assist in getting you back on track.

Another tip is to temporarily change the radio station you are listening to, as it invariably will have songs on it that you will relate to your lost love. Also keep away from any radio stations that have a habit of playing sad love songs. There is nothing that can throw you back into a period of gloom and doom quicker than a song about a shattered relationship or cheating.

This pretty much knocks out about 60% of all Country style music. This tip should extend well behind just music and songs, try and avoid all those places that remind you too much of that person. This can include your favorite intimate little restaurant or bistro and definitely take a different route if your normal one takes you by a lingerie shop that the two of you frequented.

At some point you will realize that something extraordinary has happened to you, you are now single! Being single can bring with it a whole new set of interesting possibilities. Now don’t misunderstand me, I am not advocating going out and have long string of one night stands, although it may be fun, ok, a lot of fun, it could also make you feel even worse.

Think about what you have always wanted to do but were held back because your partner did not have the same passion for it as you. Take a martial arts class or even ballroom dancing. Go on a vacation to indulge yourself, perhaps even at a clothing optional resort. The possibilities are endless, and now is the time to try some.

Finally, although it may be difficult to totally forget that person, don’t waste any time and energy by trying to arrange a reconciliation and revenge is never a good idea and usually will end very badly. Try and learn from this past relationship and see if there is anything you now know that would have made the outcome any different. The bottom line is to fill that empty space in your heart with people and activities that give you warm and happy feelings and keep the negative ones under wraps. After all, this is all about you from now on, isn’t it?

Writer and consultant for