how to start an online conversation

Online dating has been around for… well, for as long as the internet has been an inevitable part of our everyday life. And although thousands and thousands of successful marriages started out as a simple hello via some form of an online chat forum or a dating website, many single men still don’t know what the effective formula for chatting up a girl online is.

Four out of ten girls with online dating profiles say they have been inappropriately contacted at least once by a male online dater, and we at are here to try and reduce this percentage as much as possible.

This is exactly why we decided to delve a bit deeper into the art of online dating and provide you with some useful tips on how to start a conversation with a girl online.

Here are some useful and actionable tips that can improve your odds quite a bit:

Don’t write an essay as your first message

When initiating contact online, it is crucial to keep your first message short and as concise as possible. Your first message should not be intimidating (I just realized there’s dating in intimidating, go figure). Instead, it should pique her interest.

If you write 20 sentences about yourself as your first message, it is highly unlikely that she will write back, or even read the whole thing, for that matter.

But, the question is – is there a sweet spot when it comes to the length of your first message, or even a ballpark?

According to people around us, there is!

This online dating behemoth claims that 200 characters is the ideal length for your first message to a girl, so make sure you keep it light.

Correct grammar is hot!

In other words, forget modern netspeak like “r u free on fri?”

Although we live in a fast-paced world in which phone calls are slowly but surely becoming obsolete and texting is taking over, and even though we all have extremely busy schedules that are often quite time-consuming, you still can’t resort to the overuse of modern abbreviations.  

Yes, using fewer words to get your message across can sometimes be very useful, but chatting up a girl online is not the occasion for this method.

Remember, proper grammar and right punctuation can indeed go a long way.

Humor and wittiness are making a comeback

Trust us, if you manage to make a woman laugh, you’re halfway there. Do some background research on what she likes in terms of movies and TV shows, and open with a witty reference that will intrigue her and put you in a good light.

This one can be a bit harder to pull off, since you either have a good sense of humor or you don’t, but this is something you can work on.

Being humble and honest is key

According to the recent  survey men who come off as honest and don’t boast about themselves right from the start have much more success in the online dating game. Simply don’t lie about any aspect of your persona, be yourself, and your chances will improve right off the bat.

A genuine compliment (but the right one) can go a long way

Who doesn’t like to be complimented, right? Women love it, but this is an extremely tricky ground on which you tread, my friend. If you do it right, you will definitely be one step closer to an actual date with her, but if you mess it up, you’re probably gone for good.

Make sure you avoid compliments like: I think you’re hot/sexy/smokin’/etc.

Call To Action (CTA)

In the world of online marketing, CTA is one of the most common and most widely-spread tricks to get readers to click on the desired link. So, why not use it in online dating as well? I mean, it does work!

One of the best ways to trigger a response from a girl online is to ask her an interesting question. Don’t be too nosy, though. Intimate questions are a huge red flag, especially if you are at the very beginning of your conversation with her.

A simple: What do you think of Wes Anderson’s movies? will do the trick. If she says that she loves his work, you two will click immediately. If she asks: Who’s that?; You have an opportunity to introduce her to one of the greatest filmmakers of modern cinema. If, however, she answers: I don’t like his movies; it is, perhaps, time to chat up someone else.  

So, there you go fellas – 6 useful tips on how to start a conversation with a girl online. Do you think we forgot to mention some cool tips on this matter? Feel free to leave a comment below! And don’t forget to visit for more useful articles like this one.

Writer and consultant for