Many men using online dating sites have had a problem figuring out how to get a woman’s attention and how to get more women messaging them back. It’s really not that difficult once you understand how to create a dating profile that makes a difference, or to be more precise, how to get a woman’s attention and keep it. Decades ago in the back of magazines there were ads on how to pick up women, well guess what, they are back, but this time they teach you how create messages to make you successful in online dating.

Before you even get to the response and messaging part of online dating you really need to have a profile that can grab and hold a woman’s attention. The first part of this usually is the introduction. If you insist upon using this opening line to state how wealthy you are or what type of car you drive then you fall into the same category as the majority of people who think they can get quality women to talk to them based solely on this fact. You need to separate yourself from the crowd and scream “Hey! I am different!” Of course this isn’t what you actually say but by being amusing and different you may get a woman to read on to your actual profile to see what you are all about.  A sample online introduction could be something more like “Responsible by day, irresponsible by night” rather than “Millionaire seeking Arm Candy”.

Now that you have an introduction it’s time to get to the nuts and bolts of your profile. First decide who you are, funny? Serious? A bit of both perhaps?  Sample dating profiles are a dime a dozen on the Internet but you need to know how to continue once the messaging starts. It only works if you write about who you really are and present it in a way that not only makes sense but draws additional questions. The key to writing a great online dating profile is to show your personality by how you write as well as what you write. Pretty much anyone can spout off a laundry list of attributes and key facts but presenting it in a way that makes you seem like a friend instead of just a guy writing a profile is a difference-maker.

The average guy may write “I like fine dining and the beach” whereas the above average guy says “ a picnic basket filled with cheeses and foods from around the world while listening to the waves crash against the shore” conjures up a picture that is much more appealing to the woman reading this profile. In between the jazz make certain you offer key facts about yourself such as occupation, children, etc, but not enough that it would compromise your security.

Okay, the responses to you profile are now beginning to trickle in…what now? Well, first of all if you wrote a good dating profile that gets noticed you should be getting more responses than you know how to answer, so pick a few that intrigue you to get started.  Messages that get read have some common elements, they tell something about you, they are amusing and they are brief, perhaps 2-3 sentences. There will be plenty of time to get to know one another in greater detail later, but for now opening a continuous flow of conversation is what you should be shooting for.

Writing the initial messages is not difficult but there are certain rules that should apply if you are to be successful and the first of these is learning how to spell.  Many women have complained that men who use common Internet abbreviations or or make a substantial amount of spelling and grammar mistakes are really conveying that if they don’t care enough to write properly they probably will not care enough in a relationship. Another turn-off to many women is when a man immediately compliments some physical attribute. “Wow! I think you are really hot! translates in woman-speak to the probability that you are not and are just hoping someone falls for it. Saying something more like “ I was browsing the profiles and your eyes just grabbed me!” is a much better way of breaking the ice.

Since you only get one chance to make a first impression, you better do it right! What you put in the subject line of the message can make all the difference between getting read or getting thrown out with the trash. Imagine eating a piece of plain toast,  writing “hello” or “hey” is kind of the same thing, its boring and does nothing for you. Be imaginative and make the recipient want to see what’s on the inside and then dazzle her with wit while letting her know that you may have things in common.

Getting your message read is only half of the equation, getting responses to your messages completes the mission. To be successful in online dating you must combine all the above mentioned tips and suggestions and make it feel as if you are not behind a keyboard and monitor but sitting across a table from an attractive woman, letting your true personality shine through. If you have no personality and the best line you can come up with is “Hey babe, wanna get lucky?” Then just sell your computer and buy a dog!

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