So you’ve joined an online dating site, scoured through dozens of member profiles, and found a few that you maybe interested in dating. Hopefully they will find you interesting as well. Looks are very important but the reality is, at some point you still have to communicate with him or her. It is at this juncture that you will either make it or break it as far as dating goes! Growing up, your parents would instill a piece of knowledge on to you which can benefit you throughout life. That is, that first impressions do count, and that you can never get a second chance to make a first impression, especially when it comes to dating.


This bit of knowledge is most important when it comes to looking to meet someone to date through online dating websites. In face-to-face verbalization between two people, the spoken word will be spontaneous, with little to no time for thinking your thoughts out fully.  And so, invariably, one will usually “put his foot in his mouth.” With online messaging, you have the time and opportunity to make that first message worthy of reading and of being read. Seems easy enough, right? Well, dating messages could be as long as certain rules are observed. If you are serious about online dating, start with choosing a good username. Use a name that describes you to a degree, but not how you want to be perceived. Usernames like SKIER123 or MYGARDEN are descriptive in nature, while names like SLUTMASTER or BITCH321, (also descriptive, but vulgar) will get only one type of person, and probably not the type you want to meet or date. Think about it, take your time, and choose. But choose wisely as you will be identified with that username.

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Just because dating online has become more and more prevalent in our society, doesn’t mean that scribbling down anything will result in a date. People are savvy, and know what they like or desire. And one thing for sure is that no one enjoys seeing a message from a potential dater only to find it is like a form letter, one that is sent en masse, yet says nothing. For guys, try to be specific to one girl than just random to many. Quality should always take precedence over quantity in the online dating world, for there are plenty of choices.

Many times the guy will send out numerous online messages to various girls, just because of a girl’s looks, and without seeing if there is anything the two of you have in common, and with the hopes that some female will respond simply due to volume of messages sent. This is a recipe for disaster as females are smart enough to pick up on the BS, and will pay little to no attention to them. Common interests, goals and beliefs are essential, if not for a first date, then definitely if there is to be a second date.

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Take your time writing your first online message, think out what you wish to say, and re read it before hitting the SEND button. It is these girls that are more likely to reply to your message, as well as appreciate that you took the time to write them specifically. It all begins by starting a conversation. Believe it or not, many people, especially men, haven’t got a clue on making the first move (or message). For the start of conversation, keeping it simple will prove to be the best method. You want to make a good impression and get to know more about him or her, but typing nothing more than “Whatzup” or “How ya doin” just won’t cut it! However, if you take the time to read the profile, you will attain knowledge which is specific to that person, making it useful and will encourage further messaging. Find a few things about him/her that you have in common, and ask about that. Prove to that person that you like something about them other than their looks. This makes for a dating connection.

And last, but not least, make sure that you proof read and re-read what you have written. It has been found that while a few misspelled words or grammar will be generally overlooked by the message recipient, it takes only moments to check. A properly spelled word, or proper use of grammar, (avoid street language) will go a long way for future online messages. It shows education and a certain amount of class regardless of gender.

Writer and consultant for