We hear the phrase eligible bachelor so often that we look at it as an all encompassing term, when most of the time people should just use the word bachelor, as they have no concept of what makes a person eligible. This term can be very subjective, however there are some factors that should be considered that are far more important than just marital status. Before we go into those aspects it should be understood that one person’s point of view on this issue can vary greatly from another’s depending on socio-economic variables as well as personal tastes. When your mother tells you her friend Ethel has a son who is a very successful Doctor and is an eligible bachelor, she may not be telling you that he has the personality of a turnip and lives with 18 cats. There are major differences between financially eligible, personality eligible or socially eligible, and of course the total package of eligibility would be a combination of all three.  Of course if he were good looking as well he’d only be eligible to those who appear at a rose ceremony on televisions’ “the bachelor.”

Financially eligible is an important factor as it has been said many times that its just as easy to date a rich man as a poor one, however the perks of dating someone who is financially stabile and can afford to take you out to dinner without having to check how much of a balance is left on his ATM or credit card, is quite nice. Money matters are one of the main causes of divorce so it should definitely be well thought-out when considering dating someone.  Remember, we are assuming for arguments sake that this person is single so the only question is in what other ways is he eligible.

Next, you must think about how this person’s personality will mesh with yours. If you are an outgoing, and boisterous person who likes to party the night away at the newest and trendiest clubs, while he would rather stay at home watching reruns of “Star trek” there may be some issues in a potential relationship. Personality eligibility means that you have common interests and not only would enjoy spending time engaging in activities, but would also like to spend time discussing them in a manner you both enjoy. Having pleasant conversation over dinner and a bottle of wine is wonderful if you both take pleasure in it, if one does and the other would rather talk about it in between sets at a head banger’s battle of the bands, well…not so good.

Socially eligible may seem to encompass some aspects of the personality component, however this is more about how he acts and responds to social situations. If your friends, and those you tend to spend a great deal of leisure time with are fun loving and gregarious and your potential significant other is more of a quiet, sit in the corner at parties kind of guy he may not fit in to your social network very well. You may think that this doesn’t matter, as he would be dating you and not them. Wrong! When you date someone, you bring them into your group of friends and family. Everyone around you  ‘dates’ that person to some extent. If your friends do not feel comfortable around this person, you could find yourself not being invited to as many group outings as you had previously.

So as you see, the key to understanding the true meaning of eligible bachelor goes well beyond the simple significance of being unmarried. The eligible bachelor should be someone who fits into your world and you fit into theirs, this fit need not be perfect but it should be close enough to supply each of you what you desire without have to compromise too much of what and who you are. So when mom tells you that her friend Ethel has a son that is perfect eligible bachelor for you, take a moment to figure out what eligible might mean to you.