The pages of history are bursting with loves gone bad, and much of the time it was because one person was drawn like a moth to a flame to another, who was completely wrong for them.  Dating a loser is definitely nothing new, but with age comes wisdom and hopefully a better defense against the chemistry or sweet talk that causes us to self-destruct in the name of love. Without star-crossed lovers William Shakespeare may have been relegated to selling castle owners insurance in the low rent areas of old London or for more modern relevance where would the Jerry Seinfeld show have been without its cast constantly talking about dating losers. Now that we have so much history to look back upon as a reference, we should be able to guard against such mistakes ourselves.

First of all, before you invest too much time in a budding relationship, question everything! If this person is a bit older, why are they not currently involved with someone? Being unattached is not grounds for immediate dismissal but the answer should make sense. If you get the old “ I just haven’t found the right person yet” line hit them in the nose and run for the nearest exit. That’s just a load of crap. If you are currently a useful member of society, then you have had plenty of opportunities to meet someone, so make sure that the reasons fit the person. An answer such as “ I work long hours and when I get home I just want to relax” is a more honest answer but it brings up other red flags, such as do you really want to enter into a relationship with someone you may rarely get to spend quality time with? Somewhere there is a happy medium, you merely have to figure out what is for you.

The converse of the workaholic is the “Slacker”.  Have you ever noticed that someone you may be considering dating is always either at home, or never seems to have the funds to go out on a real date, a just the two of you kind of date? If your potential partner seems to have too good a grasp on what is going on the most recent sitcoms or invites you over frequently for video games with his buddies, all of whom seem to be rejects from a Jack Black movie beware. Chances are that his or her lifestyle is unlikely to change unless acted upon by some powerful external source, such as being struck by lightning, or forced to serve community service. Avoid this type of person if you have any ambition or hopes of a better than average lifestyle.

The main key to avoid dating a loser is self-worth.  You know what kind of person you are so don’t settle for anything less than you deserve. Don’t make excuses for a potential partner because you are afraid of being alone, and don’t hope that they will change in time.  You are gambling with your happiness. The right person is out there, just be patient and above all, smart.