Asking someone to go on a date is sometimes tricky
Especially if you are not used to taking that small step. Most of the time its about being comfortable with a few things, rejection and the ability to go back and ask again. Unless you’re blessed with Paul Newman’s mid life looks or the charisma of Bruce Willis, you’re going to have to expect the occasional knock back.
A good way is to find some middle ground, get some insight into the other persons interests, and if you’re being genuine in your enthusiasm for what they are about, your body language will give off some excellent, positive signals. Women who tend to express their interest in a man give away certain signals in their body language, touching the neck is one and playing with their hair is another. For men, its genuine laughter and they will know want to know more about you.
Its important to be in touch with what’s happening beyond the words. To get a successful response to asking someone out on a date is often about knowing when the right time is to ask. You’ll hear of many other places and situations, where they say, timing is everything. Remember, in most situations, to get the outcome your looking for, you’ll probably get the one chance, so make sure you choose the moment to do it wisely.
Stepping Out Of The Comfort Zone
We all enjoy dwelling in our comfort zone where we feel safe and think that almost nothing can hurt us. But, the truth is – the real magic happens out of your comfort zone. Zappa once said “without deviation from the norm, progress is not possible.” This is especially true when it comes to our social literacy and the art of online dating.
But knowing how and when to tastefully approach the person you find attractive is important. The best advice normally comes from generations back. They’ve been down this road more than we have, and so the golden rule is to be your self. Smile, be confident and for men looking to date a woman, getting her to laugh will open the doors of possibility wider. So it is up to you to create one.
It is up to you to take a calculated leap of faith and dive in.
In order to do this, you need to test the waters first and slowly lead into topics that get conversation off of the ground. Interests are key, it’s important that the topic is about who you want to date. What they are interested in. Everyone’s favorite topic is themselves, so be sure to show real interest. When you feel you’ve clicked and there’s chemistry between the two of you this maybe the time to suggest going out sometime.
Of course, since this is just the beginning of your re-directing of the conversation, make sure you don’t go too far during this phase. Instead, start with something light rather than immediately rolling into the any political opinions or discussion about how unwell you have been recently. Keep things upbeat and always show that you are paying attention to what is being talked about. Showing interest is key, people are often flattered that want to know more.
Remember eye contact, people are able to read your eyes, and your intentions behind them. A small percentage of how you communicate comes from the words alone. Asking someone for a date is as easy or as complicated as you want to make it, but to take the clean, clear path will often flatter and attract because of confidence.
Transitioning To “The Good Stuff”
Stepping out of the comfort zone is part and parcel of asking someone out. It only becomes easier the more comfortable we become with doing it, and we only become more comfortable by doing it. Dating is an action-based activity, you’ve got to be part of that process to be able to do it successfully.
NOTE: As you’ve probably already noticed, we are approaching this topic neither from a male nor from a female perspective, but this article in the eyes of some may suggest its more on the male asking the woman out for a date. This would seemingly be correct as this is often how the activity goes. Some women will never ask, some will, but often its seen as the male role.
So, if the person you want to date is near you, be brave approach and say hi. Have a small idea of how you would like the conversation to go. Be prepared, be confident, be interested and most importantly, be yourself.
