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Dating By Email – Messages That Get Responses

Published on 28 Aug 2013 with 0 Comments

Many men using online dating sites have had a problem figuring out how to get a woman’s attention and how to get more women messaging them back. It’s really not that difficult once you understand how to create a dating profile that makes a difference, or to be more precise, how to get a woman’s attention and keep it. Decades ago in the back of magazines there were ads on how to pick up women, well guess what, they are back, but this time they teach you how create messages to make you successful in online dating.

Before you even get to the response and messaging part of online dating you really need to have a profile that can grab and hold a woman’s attention. The first part of this usually is the introduction. If you insist upon using this opening line to state how wealthy you are or what type of car you drive then you fall into the same category as the majority of people who think they can get quality women to talk to them based solely on this fact. You need to separate yourself from the crowd and scream “Hey! I am different!” Of course this isn’t what you actually say but by being amusing and different you may get a woman to read on to your actual profile to see what you are all about.  A sample online introduction could be something more like “Responsible by day, irresponsible by night” rather than “Millionaire seeking Arm Candy”.

Now that you have an introduction it’s time to get to the nuts and bolts of your profile. First decide who you are, funny? Serious? A bit of both perhaps?  Sample dating profiles are a dime a dozen on the Internet but you need to know how to continue once the messaging starts. It only works if you write about who you really are and present it in a way that not only makes sense but draws additional questions. The key to writing a great online dating profile is to show your personality by how you write as well as what you write. Pretty much anyone can spout off a laundry list of attributes and key facts but presenting it in a way that makes you seem like a friend instead of just a guy writing a profile is a difference-maker.

The average guy may write “I like fine dining and the beach” whereas the above average guy says “ a picnic basket filled with cheeses and foods from around the world while listening to the waves crash against the shore” conjures up a picture that is much more appealing to the woman reading this profile. In between the jazz make certain you offer key facts about yourself such as occupation, children, etc, but not enough that it would compromise your security.

Okay, the responses to you profile are now beginning to trickle in…what now? Well, first of all if you wrote a good dating profile that gets noticed you should be getting more responses than you know how to answer, so pick a few that intrigue you to get started.  Messages that get read have some common elements, they tell something about you, they are amusing and they are brief, perhaps 2-3 sentences. There will be plenty of time to get to know one another in greater detail later, but for now opening a continuous flow of conversation is what you should be shooting for.

Writing the initial messages is not difficult but there are certain rules that should apply if you are to be successful and the first of these is learning how to spell.  Many women have complained that men who use common Internet abbreviations or or make a substantial amount of spelling and grammar mistakes are really conveying that if they don’t care enough to write properly they probably will not care enough in a relationship. Another turn-off to many women is when a man immediately compliments some physical attribute. “Wow! I think you are really hot! translates in woman-speak to the probability that you are not and are just hoping someone falls for it. Saying something more like “ I was browsing the profiles and your eyes just grabbed me!” is a much better way of breaking the ice.

Since you only get one chance to make a first impression, you better do it right! What you put in the subject line of the message can make all the difference between getting read or getting thrown out with the trash. Imagine eating a piece of plain toast,  writing “hello” or “hey” is kind of the same thing, its boring and does nothing for you. Be imaginative and make the recipient want to see what’s on the inside and then dazzle her with wit while letting her know that you may have things in common.

Getting your message read is only half of the equation, getting responses to your messages completes the mission. To be successful in online dating you must combine all the above mentioned tips and suggestions and make it feel as if you are not behind a keyboard and monitor but sitting across a table from an attractive woman, letting your true personality shine through. If you have no personality and the best line you can come up with is “Hey babe, wanna get lucky?” Then just sell your computer and buy a dog!

Find Me A Date Tonight | Successful Dating

7 Clever Ways To Ask First Date Questions

About noah_van_hochman

Noah Van Hochman’s distinctive style of bringing his thoughts and abilities for all to see is comparable to a summer storm, you can see it coming, but there is really nothing you can do about it! His vast knowledge on a multitude of subjects leaves him with a variety of opinions that can change in an instant, and often do. Mr. Van Hochman may at times have the demeanor of the Dalai Lama while at other periods he may appear to be more of a drunken sailor out on shore leave! Whatever manner he is presenting at the moment one thing is certain, his intellect and analytical skills are considerable, and wherever his travels take him you can be certain he will make wonderful new friends. Children and puppies love him

Where To Meet Black Successful Men

Published on 20 Aug 2013 with 0 Comments

 

I was recently asked by a friend of mine who had gone through a string of fairly unsuccessful relationships why she can’t meet a black man of substance and stability. She wondered if it could possibly have something to do with race, since she was African-American. I looked at her for a good 10-15 seconds and by then she knew she was in for a lecture. I began by asking her where she was meeting these men? Already knowing the answer I delivered to her in my best elderly Jewish man accent…AHA!!!!!

There are many places to meet black men but she specifically said she was looking for a successful and stable black man, I told her to look for them the same way you would look to meet anyone of quality regardless of skin tone. You may be looking in venues that cater more towards single African-American men but the concept is the same. Stop hoping to meet your Mr. right in clubs and bars, there is a better than average chance that those you meet there are looking more for the short-term adventure than a stable relationship that could lead to more.

The black dating scene is no different from any other ethnic group, and the types of women that black men date are also looking for something special and quite often find that the Internet is a great place to look. Women that are searching for a successful man tend to gravitate towards those online dating sites that cater to those enjoying an above average lifestyle and for black women to meet rich black men they should not only look on mainstream dating sites but especially on those catering specifically to an upscale black customer base.

If online dating sites are not for you then figure out where single African-American men congregate and spend some time there as well. Believe it or not churches are considered a good place to meet upscale and stable people as those with a sense of faith and responsibility seem to be drawn together there. Many of my married friends say they met their future spouse while engaging in their interests outside of their careers such as as cooking or scuba diving classes.

If you are looking to meet successful black men, it also pays to spend time with successful black women as well. People who have reached a certain level in life tend to hang out with those in similar socio-economic groups and many of them have friends or relatives who are also in that circle. Let it be known that you may be available to date and let others who may know you and your interests play the matchmaking game. You never know what can happen!

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About noah_van_hochman

Noah Van Hochman’s distinctive style of bringing his thoughts and abilities for all to see is comparable to a summer storm, you can see it coming, but there is really nothing you can do about it! His vast knowledge on a multitude of subjects leaves him with a variety of opinions that can change in an instant, and often do. Mr. Van Hochman may at times have the demeanor of the Dalai Lama while at other periods he may appear to be more of a drunken sailor out on shore leave! Whatever manner he is presenting at the moment one thing is certain, his intellect and analytical skills are considerable, and wherever his travels take him you can be certain he will make wonderful new friends. Children and puppies love him

How To Dress For A Date – And Stiil Feel Comfortable

Published on 09 Aug 2013 with 0 Comments

 

There really are few things worse in the dating world than meeting your date for a long anticipated wonderful evening out and the seeing that person dressed completely inappropriate for that evening.  Suppose you are a woman expecting the gentleman to show up for a planned dinner at an elegant restaurant and he shows up in Sneakers and a tee shirt. It’s not going to make you giddy with anticipation. I once picked up a young woman for just such an evening.  All seemed great when I met her but after the door opened and what looked like the Queen of the Damned appeared in full Goth mode, I realized that even when you tell a person where you will be going for that date, you may want to politely mention attire for the date. This is done in a subtle way of course.

The key to pulling off a great evening in terms of how to dress for a date is not to be someone you’re not. If you are uncomfortable in what you are wearing, there will be a bit of an uneasy feeling throughout the date. You can dress elegant and still be comfortable, there is no law that states you need dress in a specific way, only that it fits the occasion.

If you are a woman or a man, you should dress properly for the evening but do something that stands out just a bit. Dressing for a date also means setting yourself apart from a crowd. This does not mean having a new hairstyle that looks as if it were done in the finest salon in Transylvania or wearing a tie with pictures of fish that begin to sing when you touch them. Looking special does not mean having taxicabs afraid to pick you up.

So far we have assumed that you are planning on going to nice restaurant, so nice shoes would definitely take precedence over running shoes, but lets say the date is not one in which you go out to dinner. Lets assume you have found someone with similar interests and you decide to do something you enjoy…together.

Where is this date going to take you, the beach, hiking or a long drive in the country? Even if this date is just to go see a movie, there is a proper way to dress. Do not dress in a way that demonstrates you don’t care very much how you look. It just stands to reason that if you don’t care how you look, how can you care much about the person you are with, of course you may not see it that way but they might.

I am not trying to dictate style to you, the colors and fashion you choose are and should be an extension of your personality.  What is important however is to dress for a date with a certain amount of taste. Wearing hiking shoes and a tee shirt for a day on a favorite walking trail is fine, where the problem arises is if that attire is something that your local Goodwill would turn down. Dressing for your date is about more than wardrobe. Heading to the local beach where everyone is wearing board shorts and you show up wearing a Speedo, two sizes too small will surely make your date want to open an artery and run screaming into the ocean hoping a Great White is swimming nearby.

Clean, tasteful and date appropriate are the buzzwords for understanding how to dress for a date. Even if you are not the most fashion conscious person, just understanding this will at least allow the person you are interested to stay interested, and perhaps another date might be a shopping trip to enhance your sense of style!

Find Me A Date Tonight

About noah_van_hochman

Noah Van Hochman’s distinctive style of bringing his thoughts and abilities for all to see is comparable to a summer storm, you can see it coming, but there is really nothing you can do about it! His vast knowledge on a multitude of subjects leaves him with a variety of opinions that can change in an instant, and often do. Mr. Van Hochman may at times have the demeanor of the Dalai Lama while at other periods he may appear to be more of a drunken sailor out on shore leave! Whatever manner he is presenting at the moment one thing is certain, his intellect and analytical skills are considerable, and wherever his travels take him you can be certain he will make wonderful new friends. Children and puppies love him

Find Me A Date Tonight | Successful Dating

Published on 06 Aug 2013 with 0 Comments

Another lonely night at home, watching your goldfish laugh at you when he knows he may get some later from that fancy tail hanging out on the other side of the water filter? Well, whose fault is that? Just give it a little bit of thought and dig up a bit of courage and you too can be out on the town saying, “lord please step in and find me a date tonight.”

One of the first things you need to decide upon when trying to find a date is what you actually want to get out that date. Are you just looking for some pleasant company for the evening and perhaps getting to know someone a bit better or are you looking for a hot passionate night with little or no regard for the future. The answer to this question and the ultimate goal of successful dating will determine what approach you may use to find a date tonight.

No matter what you are looking for, you will still need to be appealing to the person that you may want to ask out. So when you do begin looking for your date, keep in mind that you want to entice them into getting to know you better, not chase them off screaming.

One of the best methods for successful dating is to just go about your normal daily routine, but with a keen eye open for any potential dating material. I have actually found that merely walking up to someone in a casual but friendly manner is a great method. Of course you still need to have some conversation starter that doesn’t make you seem like a stalker is vital to your success and can really help if you eventually need to go to court.

The grocery and outdoor cafes are great for this approach. The vast array of online dating sites is a tried and true method of finding a date for tonight in the most efficient way possible. Not only can you search thousands of profiles but you can also pick a specifically themed website to look for someone that you already know has similar interests. It’s also a much quicker way of finding a date as you already know the people you meet via an online dating site are also looking to date.

This is the foundation for everything that comes after, whether it’s an ongoing relationship or a visit to a motel that charges by the hour. If you are on a favorite dating site or at the corner grocery store you still need to approach someone if you have hopes of finding a date tonight.

Successful dating is not rocket science, just realize that other people want to go out on a date too, so it is just a question of getting those two people in close proximity either in person or at the other end of the Internet and hoping one of them is confident enough, or desperate enough to make that inspiring and well known…first move!

About noah_van_hochman

Noah Van Hochman’s distinctive style of bringing his thoughts and abilities for all to see is comparable to a summer storm, you can see it coming, but there is really nothing you can do about it! His vast knowledge on a multitude of subjects leaves him with a variety of opinions that can change in an instant, and often do. Mr. Van Hochman may at times have the demeanor of the Dalai Lama while at other periods he may appear to be more of a drunken sailor out on shore leave! Whatever manner he is presenting at the moment one thing is certain, his intellect and analytical skills are considerable, and wherever his travels take him you can be certain he will make wonderful new friends. Children and puppies love him

7 Clever Ways To Ask First Date Questions

Published on 24 Jul 2013 with 0 Comments

couple on first date asking questions

You have planned everything down to the goodbye kiss. You have scripted everything about how the first date should go, when you will pick her up if you are a man, and what you will be wearing if you are a woman. You are now prepared for any eventuality. The date is going well but then something inside you blurts out a question that could have you both scrambling for cover. It seems that everyone who goes on a first date wants to know answers to many of the same questions, and quite often these questions are asked. The method of delivery however is another story as how you ascertain the answers can make the difference between a pleasant evening and a fork in the eye!

Its important to keep conversation and questions on a first date light and easy, there is nothing worse than someone giving you the third degree about everything under the sun. You are trying to get to know someone so don’t make him or her feel like they are filling out a mortgage application. Phrase your questions that will lead to the answers you seek, but without directly challenging the other person to give a quick and definitive response. So, lets look at some of the ways we can ask first date questions without making it seem like an interview.

In addition to chemistry, dating is really about strategy. Each person is attempting to determine various things about the other; some people are just more obvious than others.
But if you want to ask certain questions here are some clever ways to ask those first date question.

Sarcasm, this has always been a fairly useful tool in the questioning process. Sarcastic humor such as “I work 40 hours to be this poor” is a great way to open a conversation about finance, wealth and employment.

Humor will always be the greatest of all icebreakers, especially for difficult topics, and when used to elicit a response it can tell a person a great deal. Get into a conversation about movies and then mention a funny movie that has religious aspects to it. Now you have a method to move into a light discussion that can help you determine if your date is a religious person or not.

Semi-Direct questions should be tempered with smiles and lots of wine. If you want to know about the stability of a person and their career direction then phrase the question as a direct one but without asking it exactly that way. “If you could choose your dream job, what would it be?” Again, this opens the door to expand the conversation in direction that will give you some answers.

There are two other clever ways to ask questions on a first date but the person asking has to be a quick thinker and possess the ability to change direction quickly. They are Self-deprecating humor and confrontational. “I’m in shape. Round is a shape, right? This is a great example of self-deprecating humor and can be useful in a conversation about whether or not you eat healthy or go to a gym. For the confrontational approach, let us remember we are on a date so confrontational does not mean aggressive, it may just take the form of a contra point of view, “I can’t believe you would actually pick this movie over that one!”

When it comes to emotions you need to tread lightly, but it is important to ask certain questions when you are trying to determine the emotional baggage a person may be carrying around. Compassionate questioning works well if you already know of some break-up or issue in their lives that gives you concerns about the long-term potential of this person. “I heard about what you had gone through, I recently went through something similar” and then let the process continue from there. This is a type of question where you may need to back it off a bit if you see too emotional of a response, but its also perfect in that it give a good indication of their redness to move on.

All these possibilities are merely what I like to call probing hints.  They open a line of conversation without making you seem like an idiot or trying to stick your nose where it may not belong. The best first date questions never actually seem like questions, they are more like subtle nudges, directing people to those answers you’d like to have.

Of course, some people have no filter and may blurt out the most offensive questions. This is Volume questioning in which they will ask very blunt and often insulting questions to many people on many dates in hopes that somewhere along the line they get an affirmative response. This is quite often used by men when trying to determine if first date sex is a possibility before continuing. A good example of this might be “are you going to sleep with me, or do you want to split the bill?” Have fun and date safely!

About noah_van_hochman

Noah Van Hochman’s distinctive style of bringing his thoughts and abilities for all to see is comparable to a summer storm, you can see it coming, but there is really nothing you can do about it! His vast knowledge on a multitude of subjects leaves him with a variety of opinions that can change in an instant, and often do. Mr. Van Hochman may at times have the demeanor of the Dalai Lama while at other periods he may appear to be more of a drunken sailor out on shore leave! Whatever manner he is presenting at the moment one thing is certain, his intellect and analytical skills are considerable, and wherever his travels take him you can be certain he will make wonderful new friends. Children and puppies love him

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