I keep getting emails from women complaining that they can’t find a boyfriend and don’t understand why.

There are some who sincerely want someone special in their life but are just not sure how to go about finding that someone that is right for them. So from a guy’s point of view I am going to break the guy code and explain exactly how to get the boyfriend you want and where to find one. Here’s a hint, it’s not rocket science or a big secret, it’s just common sense and works for both men and women. So here they are, the 5 tips for a finding and keeping a decent boyfriend.

Tip #1:  Go where the guys are! The chance of you meeting a great new guy at a knitting class is much less than those of meeting that special someone at the gym or local bistro. Guys do guy things, like hang out at the beach, the park or congregate in trendy new bars searching for…wait for it….YOU! You need to be seen by them so they can do their manly thing and make fools out of themselves trying to get your attention. Once you allow them to get your attention, don’t flaunt yourself. Play it cool. Guys love challenges, but not so much that it starts to seem like too difficult a prospect. Just don’t seem over eager, use this time to figure out if you want to learn more about the person, or just move on to greener pastures.

Tip #2:  Be yourself. Creating a version of yourself that is not accurate and projecting it to those guys you are interested in is not only ultimately going to backfire, but its basically fraud. It’s like going to the store and buying one product and then opening the box and finding another. False advertising is big no-no. Being yourself is only part of the equation; it really helps to know what type of guy you are looking for too. If you are highly educated and are seeking someone of similar intellect and financial stability, then don’t waste your time with someone who can barely put two sentences together. I mean always be polite, and then if the conversation is fun, enjoy it. But remember, you are looking for a boyfriend, which entails much more than a few minutes of chitchat.

Tip #3:  Create him. Sometimes we can’t see what has been right in front of us all along. You may have a friend who you seem to get along with very well but there is just a little something missing. It’s like a sculptor taking a large piece of formless stone and carving away layers to show a beautiful statue that was trapped inside. Of course he has to be open to the idea of being remodeled, and there needs to be some feelings between the two of you that haven’t been acted upon as of yet. Once the transformation is complete, beware competition for this guy!

Tip #4:  Re-create yourself. Just like in our tip #3 for him, you can improve upon yourself. Many times we get so caught up in rut that we fail to take proper care of ourselves, both mentally and physically. Keep up to date on what is going on in the world, get to the gym and get in shape, wear clothes that are not just comfortable but accentuate your finer features. You not only will start to feel better about yourself, but also will be noticed more by others.

Tip #5:  Stop Looking. OK, this may sound anti-productive to your objective of finding a boyfriend, but in fact it is a very important aspect of reaching your goal. If you are looking too hard you begin to seem desperate.  When you are concentrating more on your self, others begin to notice more and want to get to know you. It’s at this point you get to choose whom to let into your world, instead of begging to enter someone else’s.