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Do Nice Guys Finish Last? Myth Or Fact.

Published on 14 Nov 2012 with 0 Comments

 

I love hearing the phrase “nice guys finish last”, because it’s almost always spoken by the guy that finished last. Nice guys don’t finish last, guys that don’t have the will and determination to give it their all usually are the ones that are at the end of the line. Lets be honest about this, those that can’t hack it need to justify their poor performance, because no one is willing to say that someone merely tried harder than they did or they didn’t care enough to figure out a way to do better at some task. Call yourself a nice guy or call yourself a loser, but in reference to this article, there are pretty much the same.

Now, obviously we are not talking about acts of superior physical challenges, as that would be unfair, since not all objectives or goals are specific for athletic individuals and not all athletes could compete against mentally superior individuals. But we all have the ability to put forth intense effort and resolve, and those who don’t are not necessary ‘nice guys’ or ‘bad guys’, merely guys who didn’t try as hard. Lets assume for this argument that the guys are all pretty similar in terms of overall attractiveness, we can then look at attitude as the irresistible force that will allow one man to succeed in pursuit of a female while another may crash and burn.

One more thing that needs to be taken into consideration is what type of relationship that the female is looking for; as different male attitudes are more desirable, depending on what type of relationship is sought. Women who are not looking for more than a casual fling and may not want anything more than to date several men at a time are usually drawn to the classic bad boy attitude. This brooding mysterious type, whom although may be very attractive, there is usually not much known about him. For the woman who is seeking a long-term relationship and someone to count on, and perhaps looking to start a family, the responsible or ‘nice guy’ is the preferred choice. It’s really not about who is the nice guy or bad boy, but who has the desired mind-set at a specific point in time for a particular female.

Because you are never quite sure at the onset of getting to know someone what their current desires are, its best to be able to transition from bad boy to nice guy and visa versa on the fly. This is imperative if you are not sure what you are actually looking for as well. If you are looking for a specific type of relationship than there is no need to play both ends of the attitude spectrum, just be who you are and wait for the girl who is looking for the same. Be aware that just like a school of fish, nice guys tend to hang out with nice guys and bad boys with bad boys. This is how we have come up with chess clubs and motorcycle gangs. Sometimes it pays to be the lone wolf and roll with it to avoid being thought of in one way or the other. This approach gives you lots of latitude and options.

As for the old adage nice guys finish last; again it all depends on your point of view. If having someone that knows you and loves you despite all your imperfections, and having children who adore you and count on you is considered finishing last; well, then I’d pick being a nice guy each and every time!

About noah_van_hochman

Noah Van Hochman’s distinctive style of bringing his thoughts and abilities for all to see is comparable to a summer storm, you can see it coming, but there is really nothing you can do about it! His vast knowledge on a multitude of subjects leaves him with a variety of opinions that can change in an instant, and often do. Mr. Van Hochman may at times have the demeanor of the Dalai Lama while at other periods he may appear to be more of a drunken sailor out on shore leave! Whatever manner he is presenting at the moment one thing is certain, his intellect and analytical skills are considerable, and wherever his travels take him you can be certain he will make wonderful new friends. Children and puppies love him

What Actually Is An Eligible Bachelor?

Published on 30 Apr 2012 with 0 Comments

We hear the phrase eligible bachelor so often that we look at it as an all encompassing term, when most of the time people should just use the word bachelor, as they have no concept of what makes a person eligible. This term can be very subjective, however there are some factors that should be considered that are far more important than just marital status. Before we go into those aspects it should be understood that one person’s point of view on this issue can vary greatly from another’s depending on socio-economic variables as well as personal tastes. When your mother tells you her friend Ethel has a son who is a very successful Doctor and is an eligible bachelor, she may not be telling you that he has the personality of a turnip and lives with 18 cats. There are major differences between financially eligible, personality eligible or socially eligible, and of course the total package of eligibility would be a combination of all three.  Of course if he were good looking as well he’d only be eligible to those who appear at a rose ceremony on televisions’ “the bachelor.”

Financially eligible is an important factor as it has been said many times that its just as easy to date a rich man as a poor one, however the perks of dating someone who is financially stabile and can afford to take you out to dinner without having to check how much of a balance is left on his ATM or credit card, is quite nice. Money matters are one of the main causes of divorce so it should definitely be well thought-out when considering dating someone.  Remember, we are assuming for arguments sake that this person is single so the only question is in what other ways is he eligible.

 

Next, you must think about how this person’s personality will mesh with yours. If you are an outgoing, and boisterous person who likes to party the night away at the newest and trendiest clubs, while he would rather stay at home watching reruns of “Star trek” there may be some issues in a potential relationship. Personality eligibility means that you have common interests and not only would enjoy spending time engaging in activities, but would also like to spend time discussing them in a manner you both enjoy. Having pleasant conversation over dinner and a bottle of wine is wonderful if you both take pleasure in it, if one does and the other would rather talk about it in between sets at a head banger’s battle of the bands, well…not so good.

Socially eligible may seem to encompass some aspects of the personality component, however this is more about how he acts and responds to social situations. If your friends, and those you tend to spend a great deal of leisure time with are fun loving and gregarious and your potential significant other is more of a quiet, sit in the corner at parties kind of guy he may not fit in to your social network very well. You may think that this doesn’t matter, as he would be dating you and not them. Wrong! When you date someone, you bring them into your group of friends and family. Everyone around you  ‘dates’ that person to some extent. If your friends do not feel comfortable around this person, you could find yourself not being invited to as many group outings as you had previously.

So as you see, the key to understanding the true meaning of eligible bachelor goes well beyond the simple significance of being unmarried. The eligible bachelor should be someone who fits into your world and you fit into theirs, this fit need not be perfect but it should be close enough to supply each of you what you desire without have to compromise too much of what and who you are. So when mom tells you that her friend Ethel has a son that is perfect eligible bachelor for you, take a moment to figure out what eligible might mean to you.

About noah_van_hochman

Noah Van Hochman’s distinctive style of bringing his thoughts and abilities for all to see is comparable to a summer storm, you can see it coming, but there is really nothing you can do about it! His vast knowledge on a multitude of subjects leaves him with a variety of opinions that can change in an instant, and often do. Mr. Van Hochman may at times have the demeanor of the Dalai Lama while at other periods he may appear to be more of a drunken sailor out on shore leave! Whatever manner he is presenting at the moment one thing is certain, his intellect and analytical skills are considerable, and wherever his travels take him you can be certain he will make wonderful new friends. Children and puppies love him

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