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Sometimes a rose by any other name does not smell as sweet. Lets just reverse this a bit and decide how we would feel if rotten eggs were called roses. Ok, a bit confusing but look at it this way, if you are the nicest person in the world and your online username is BabySealClubber you may not get the opportunity to make a first impression. So why is it that when creating a username for online dating sites, so many people try to come up with a name that is either very inappropriate or does nothing to project the kind of person they are, or their interests. It important to realize that your username is your calling card and this along with your picture will be analyzed, scrutinized and examined considerably to determine if you are worth the time and effort of being sent a message. You will in fact, be judged by the name you choose so make the name work for you, not against you.

It is always a good idea to place something identifiable in a username, such as a hobby or interest. If someone browsing through profiles sees a username that is expressive of something they too enjoy, it is far more likely that they will take the time to give that profile an extra bit of examination. That extra second or two make be all you need to quite possibly change your life. Take a look at the following usernames; BobSkisVT and HotGuy4u, one is very descriptive and tells you a lot about the person, such as the user’s name, interests and a location he frequents. The other username can be any of a million other guys trolling the Internet. A first name and hobby in a profile name also gives some sense familiarity.

The username is great door opener, but if you write a poor profile that shows you to be shallow or a jerk, the name is not going to help. It only assists if everything after the name is quality as well. You need to understand that you are in competition with thousands of others and if your profile and picture are similar to someone else’s, the username could be a deciding factor. Lets be honest, if you merely have a so-so username but you look like Brad Pitt or Angelina Jolie, you are still going to beat out the guy or girl with the good username and profile, unless of course you are so over the top obnoxious that a puppy wouldn’t even sniff you.

Humor is always a great ice-breaker and if you can incorporate it into your username you are showing a sense of humor, and that may be enough to get someone to pause long enough to read your profile. That is what a good username does; it gets people to stop long enough to read your profile. Combine a sense of humor with an interest or hobby and you have a great username. It also gives the other person a great conversation starter, a s with our earlier name BobSkisVT a girl can break the ice easily merely by saying “hi Bob! I love to ski Vermont too, what mountain do you like?” It’s really just that simple.

Did you ever notice that when you watch an old movie there is always the gratuitous scene of a woman walking into a room, a bar, a restaurant or pretty much anywhere else and the action stops and all eyes turn to her? Well, technology may have changed but the whether in the movies or real life the outcome remains the same. When an attractive woman enters a room she quite often can become the center of attention, and even if it’s for a fleeting moment, the point has been made, “I am here”.

So now that you, as a woman have made the grand entrance and are basically holding court, you may be wondering why there isn’t a line of men tripping over each other to get near you. The answer is simple; men are great at talking amongst each other or gazing at you from a distance, but when it comes to making ‘the move’ on an attractive woman, even the toughest guy can turn into a coward. You may need to give them a certain signal that you are approachable, or the very least a kind of conversation started. Laugh, talk to the bartender or wear something that you can be complemented on. Going back to those old time movies, did you ever notice that the attractive woman always wore some unique article of clothing or jewelry? We all noticed it, and that s the point! You now have your conversation started; Wow, what an interesting pair of earrings you have.” There you go, you now have given her the choice as to whether or not she will respond, but you have made the initial effort.

The key is to make the initial contact as simple as possible for the guy.  Quite often many attractive women travel in bunches, and although there may be safety and fun in numbers, it also makes it very intimidating for a man to have to navigate through all those women to get to you. Make sure he can approach you from many directions and that there are escape routes. Its also important to not that if you are in a corner and he must pass several of your friends along the way, one of them might seize the opportunity to grab him for herself before he can utter a single word to you.

A radiant smile goes a long way and is the easiest method to get a gentleman to approach you. A smile is like your business card. To plain and it gets just pushed aside, too flamboyant and no one takes it too seriously, but when you have that perfect smile that lets people know you are approachable and friendly you can demonstrate your moods much more adequately. A great smile can is like a lighthouse drawing in ships from all directions and gives them either a safe passage to you or flashes a warning to steer clear.

Knowing how to send out the right signals to men is becoming much more important as many women are finding out that the numbers of quality, single men is fading fast and the competition can be immense and at times ruthless. It may take you stepping out of your comfort zone on occasion but by exploring brave new worlds you may just open yourself to a great new adventure and perhaps that meet that special someone you’ve been longing for.

 

Sometimes it’s very difficult to understand just what a man sees in a woman. I mean I have seen some extremely handsome men dating, or married to some very strange choice of women. I mean come on! Whoever said beauty is in the eyes of the beholder has obviously never seen an ugly person naked. But since the world has become a haven for binge eaters and disciples of chemically altered individuals we really should look at more than surface appearance when deciding what we really are looking for when searching for that girl of our dreams to avoid waking up with an ongoing nightmare.

When guys gather around to talk about sports, vacations and women, very rarely does the conversation discuss the things that actually attracted them to their girlfriend. Obviously guys talk about looks (and by looks we mean breasts and tushy), but when most of the conversation is stripped away and you are left to really understand what attracted a guy to a girl, we find quite a few similarities in what guys actually find important in a girlfriend once we get past the initial attractiveness.

Femininity is an important factor, however it is often misconstrued as you are just as likely to find a feminine woman running a mud race as you will taking part in a cooking class, there are exceptions such as women’s softball and field hockey. The point is now how she looks but how she carries herself. Guys do not really enjoy spending time with a woman who can make a truck driver blush. The do however love a woman who can take part and compete with them at their favorite pastimes. Having a best friend rolled up in the woman you want to sleep with is every guy’s fantasy!

If you are lucky enough to find a woman such as mentioned above you will discover that she is quite often quick witted with a bit of a cute edge to her. She can take your amusing or gentle digs at her and shoot a few right back at you. This displays her sense of humor and intelligence to some extent as the majority of guys want their girlfriend to be a bit independent and on a more equal footing with them. A funny, intelligent and independent woman is also usually very comfortable with her sexuality, which could mean for some interesting times behind the bedroom door.

Finding a woman that is physically attractive is always a good thing but beauty really is in the eyes of the beholder. If two women are standing side by side and one is slightly more attractive than the other, most men would go after the one they deem most attractive. However, let’s take the time to get to know them. One loves the same things as you, is supportive and full of those qualities that make you feel good, but the other although marginally more attractive, has the personality of an eggplant and would never be caught dead with you and your friends at a favorite sporting event. Who would you rather have a relationship with?

Most men find that they are very lucky when they can find a woman who is not only physically attractive but can be a best friend as well.  By of all the things we have previously stated, we find that this comfort level with one another can not only make for a long an d happy relationship but for some wonderfully exciting moments in the bedroom as well!

 

I love hearing the phrase “nice guys finish last”, because it’s almost always spoken by the guy that finished last. Nice guys don’t finish last, guys that don’t have the will and determination to give it their all usually are the ones that are at the end of the line. Lets be honest about this, those that can’t hack it need to justify their poor performance, because no one is willing to say that someone merely tried harder than they did or they didn’t care enough to figure out a way to do better at some task. Call yourself a nice guy or call yourself a loser, but in reference to this article, there are pretty much the same.

Now, obviously we are not talking about acts of superior physical challenges, as that would be unfair, since not all objectives or goals are specific for athletic individuals and not all athletes could compete against mentally superior individuals. But we all have the ability to put forth intense effort and resolve, and those who don’t are not necessary ‘nice guys’ or ‘bad guys’, merely guys who didn’t try as hard. Lets assume for this argument that the guys are all pretty similar in terms of overall attractiveness, we can then look at attitude as the irresistible force that will allow one man to succeed in pursuit of a female while another may crash and burn.

One more thing that needs to be taken into consideration is what type of relationship that the female is looking for; as different male attitudes are more desirable, depending on what type of relationship is sought. Women who are not looking for more than a casual fling and may not want anything more than to date several men at a time are usually drawn to the classic bad boy attitude. This brooding mysterious type, whom although may be very attractive, there is usually not much known about him. For the woman who is seeking a long-term relationship and someone to count on, and perhaps looking to start a family, the responsible or ‘nice guy’ is the preferred choice. It’s really not about who is the nice guy or bad boy, but who has the desired mind-set at a specific point in time for a particular female.

Because you are never quite sure at the onset of getting to know someone what their current desires are, its best to be able to transition from bad boy to nice guy and visa versa on the fly. This is imperative if you are not sure what you are actually looking for as well. If you are looking for a specific type of relationship than there is no need to play both ends of the attitude spectrum, just be who you are and wait for the girl who is looking for the same. Be aware that just like a school of fish, nice guys tend to hang out with nice guys and bad boys with bad boys. This is how we have come up with chess clubs and motorcycle gangs. Sometimes it pays to be the lone wolf and roll with it to avoid being thought of in one way or the other. This approach gives you lots of latitude and options.

As for the old adage nice guys finish last; again it all depends on your point of view. If having someone that knows you and loves you despite all your imperfections, and having children who adore you and count on you is considered finishing last; well, then I’d pick being a nice guy each and every time!

Returning to the dating scene after a divorce or separation?…..

 

After being married for many years is not an easy thing for a woman to do but what’s even harder than that is dating such a woman. Dating newly single women requires a man to have patience as well as the ability to be understanding.

Many newly single women have been out of the dating scene for quite a bit of time which means they may be somewhat nervous about dating.  It is important to make her feel relaxed and comfortable when she is with you. You might try using a little humor on her as laughter is always an effective way to make a person feel relaxed and at ease.

It is important to move slowly with her in the relationship by not putting pressure on her about getting more intimate. It is quite possible that a newly single woman has been with the same man for a very long period of time which may make her either apprehensive or eager to get more intimate with you. Let her move at a pace that she is most comfortable with which will require understanding and patience on your part.

When dating a newly single woman it is quite possible that she will have children that live with her which means she has a responsibility to her kids. You might find it necessary to work around her schedule so that she will have time for you as well as her children. If you really want to score points with her, you might try planning a weekend with her and her children so that you may all get to know each other in an enjoyable atmosphere such as an amusement park for example.

One very important point to keep in mind is that you don’t want to be “the next guy” who happens to come along at a time when a newly single woman is looking to fill a void. A man should be cautious that he may be entering a woman’s life at a time when she desperately needs help emotionally so be prepared that you may be in the wrong place at the wrong time. It’s never easy learning how to start dating again.

The last thing I’d like to say about dating newly single women is to have a good time and to just be yourself. Honesty and communication are probably two of the most important things in a relationship if you plan on having long term success. Be truthful and understanding but remember to also proceed with caution and I’m sure your dating experience will be one to remember.